Space, inside and outside my body – becomes more and more important when i dance, when i think about dance, when i think.  the space who i share with others, becomes slowly my main interest, also a trick to escape my mind, which always want to find something personal to worry about.

can i provide a space for myself and others to exist in harmony with who we are. that’s a kind of dream/desire/hope.

i was at “Occupy Wallstreet” in New York and was overwhelmed by the open space of being together and the desire to discuss with everyone.

I read a lot of articles her in the states, about the middle class getting poor, and people who can’t afford to stay in their house, or can’t go to the dentist anymore, and at the same time i am spending a lot of money in restaurants and hotels, while traveling from one place to another.

how do i position myself in this, what is the function of my performances, lectures and giving workshops all over the world.

change is needed, and change start with ourselves. That’s what i learned and what i still believe. I feel, I must jeopardize the way i live now. Or at least i must confront my fears, which block me changing.

elisabeth, a teacher of the sndo died. I didn’t know her so well, when we first met as teachers at the sndo, she didn’t trust me that much, she thought i was too dominant, later she changed her opinion, or i change dmy behaviour. I invited her once at my house when a close communal friend stayed with me, and we had a very nice time together. I could say, now she is dead, i loved her, for who she was. She had a lot of struggles in her life, but she could be also very funny and laid back. she was my age, i think.

elisabeth  i wish you a lot of love, and i thank you for the life you shared with us.

in the same time i am giving a workshop, while i am reading that giving a workshop is only about the desire to be loved….and something for mediocre artists who want to keep working…

well , here i am, mediocre as I can be in the eyes of many, and honestly, i struggle more that it is easier to (fall in) love, than to be loved… but that is another item…but it is true for me that there has to be a balance between making work and giving a workshop.

and i  question what is the difference for me, to be creative and to make art. and why i want to blur borders between the functions of me as a private person, as a teacher ,as a performer, and maker.

in moscow i had a great experience, being exhibited as a dirty bear, who get in trance by russian poetry. i more and more get the feeling that my work, -this time together with philipp grigorian, a theatre director from moscow- works the best when it comes down to only one or two ideas, executed with a strong belief in the consequences considering the form.

it was a durational piece, so at a certain moment my body and mind started to feel free within the rigid structure, and this freedom opened new desires to use the voice, to do as less as possible…

i will become a bear, of course, while looking back to my bear and deer stories in the blog archiv, i was amazed how young i looked a few years ago in comparison how i see myself now, is it my tiredness, doing to much projects, not having a real home to do nothing….

i hope the bear will help me to find peace, to go inside, perhaps even to go into hybernation, i think that will be a good idea.

daydreaming/ sleeping in the streets of moscow, where everyone says, look at me, i am rich, or look at me, i need money to survive.

We invite you to join our three day laboratory at the beach, where we explore how poetry and creativity can enrich the current political dialogue. We will explore issues like chaos or control, intimacy or isolation, territory thinking or public space. We use the open source principle in the programming of these days – everyone can participate and contribute with dance, theater, science, visual arts, land art, stand up comedy, poetry, fashion, staged rituals, etc. We are open to other suggestions.

The time has come for artists to get themselves involved in the social debate concerning the various ‘Dutch Identities’ that dominates the current political arena; a concept that creates a great deal of agitation, perpetuating negative forces of difference and enmity. From October 2010 on, choreographer Robert Steijn openly invited various artists to collectively develop a platform for ideas that can intervene and rectify this one dimensional political debate.

Inspire and be inspired, in an informal and sharp-minded atmosphere,
with sun or rain, with food and drinks. ‘Be the change you want to see’ (Ghandi).

For more information, to join, contribute or just drop by:
www.danslab.nl /Facebook en LinkedIn (Kunst in plaats van Propaganda)
‘Kunst in plaats van Propaganda’ is an initative of Petra Ardai, Marcel Bogers, Jette Schneider, Robert Steijn en made possible by grants of Fonds 1818, SNS REAAL Fonds en de Gemeente Den Haag, VSB Fonds. Special thanks to Strandpaviljoen Zuid, Goran Turnsek and Eline Tan.

The body is tired

The body is tired of itself

The body is tired of working

The body wants to do nothing

The body wants to cry

The body wants to cry in the arms of a possible lover

The body wants to  fall

nothing matters anymore to the body, only the wish to surrender to something that is beyond its control.

i am not my body.

robert is happy to show his duet with Maria Hassabi in vienna, at eleven o’clock at night, in the casino.

dear taro- readers: robert start to develop a technique to dance every day a tarot card, can we get the subconscious moving through our body, and will it be fun? never fix you on one card, always move through it. the workshop will be in the week of , 1-5 of august, see also : http://www.impulstanz.com/workshops11/wid157/en/

after his collaboration with Olga Duchovnaya in Vienna, he will now collaborate with Philipp Grigorian. their performance will be at 29 and 28 of july.

For the second time the performance Robert & Maria, made by Maria Hassabi and Robert, will be seen in Europe, this time in Tanz im August. the 17th at 21h and 18th of august, at 21h30.

Because I have hayfever, I sleep a lot at the moment, with the curtains closed, no direct sunlight in my eyes. my head is heavy, it feels as if I am constantly in a slumbering trance. It is not an unpleasant feeling, because it gives me the opportunity to take a rest, to reconsider my lfe, what I am doing.

I am thinking of the people in Japan, the people in Tunesia, Egypt, Lybia, all the other arab countries, I think of the difficulties to get things changed in such societies or at least to get power games transparent. I think about the people in Africa, Ivory Coast, I think about the right wing movement in Holland, the stigmatizing even the grandchildren of the immigrants. I think of the lowest class of workers in China who work their ass of.

And I think about my work, how my work can spread in the world, my ambitions to grow in life, my ambitions to discover love, friendship, sexuality, creativity.

The train stopped, we are in the middle of a field with yellow flowers, and we also can see a highway with a lot of traffic. It is a sunny monday morning somewhere in the south of Holland.

What can I do?

I can try to enjoy life, as a tribute to sebastian who died so early in his life. He is always with me, wherever I go.

I can open my senses, and let my ego dissolve in experiencing one moment after another moment.

I can try to be honest to all the people I meet.

I can try to be honest about my intentions, if I have any.

I can do all the things which appear on my path, and I can learn from it.

I want to learn.

That’s something which was always there, the wish to learn.

Not by reading books, but by living my life and observing it.

Nothing came easy in my life.

I don’t consider myself as a gay man, but I am mostly with men.

I am not trained as a dancer, but I started to make dance-solo’s,

I have a terrible dutch accent, but I am not ashamed to talk a foreign language in public spaces.

I feel I don’t know who I am, but I teach a lot people to be themselves when they dance and make work.

There is a lot of I in this text.

Too much I.

What helps me to survive this and get rid of my big ego, is my love for the people who died. People of the invisible world who support me to go on.

I can doubt about my behaviour towards all the people around me , but not about my belief in the positive energies of good intentions.

So I must discover what are good intentions.