united sorry

i am sitting now in bruxelles, waiting for the train to take me to amsterdam, because tomorrow i fly to vienna etc. etc. I suddenly realize that the deer is dead, that we left him in the ground, and that life goes on, although the old robert doesn’t live anymore, or i think it is better to say the border between life and death doesn’t exist for me anymore, i live with the death and welcome the living, i can travel, even the ex lovers are with me now, since i still honor in my heart what i felt and feel for them.

i am on a path, being between death and life, and i am not in the position anymore to chose directions, the path leads me, there is no future anymore, only the endless depth of the moment , and the dreams of past and future.

i had a strong dream, i cleaned the house of friends who have a child, and i discovered that i threw their baby in the toilet, when i threw away the cleansing water. I was terrified, i found the baby still in the toilet, took it out of the water, and amazingly enough it suddenly had a very very strong connection with me, and it was talking a lot to me, it was the first time the baby talked, and immediately it talked fluently. the parents were delighted and very happy, and asked me what caused this sudden change. I did not dare to tell them that i threw the baby in the toilet…

Bruxelles midi, train station, after eating a slice of pizza and suddenly thinking of the deer who died, but is still in my heart. Other animals already visited me in my dreams, mind and body. There is a whole zoo waiting for me.