no drinking, just waiting
written on Monday, October 5th, 2009
i didn’t drink now for more than two weeks, and i start to feel a difference in my perception of the world. I am able to stop my thinking loops more easily, just by concentrating on the silence in my body. Still it is difficult to write a lot, i live from moment to moment, and when something isn’t absolutely necessary to do, i just do nothing. i dont know why. But i trust it will change, in a way, i still have the desire to finish things, or write to people who are already for a long time waiting for me. but i do’t do it. autumn is coming in vienna. the suns is still shining, but the tempearture lowers down.
how lonely can you be, sitting for three houres in a bagel cafe, writing a subvention txt, because the deadline was today. at the moment almost no one is there, and i must go to a rehearsal, to work with bodybuilders for an act at the dance-night in vienna.