united sorry

I am stuck in New York, while Frans is rehearsing alone in the space we rented in Vienna, to prepare our premiere of next week. Luckily i got a ticket to hamburg, and then to Munich, for tomorrow, so i can go by train to vienna, and still have some time with frans, before we enter the theatre.

i am really lost in space, my body is exhausted after the premiere with Maria, i am too tired to do anything, to go to a museum, to read a book, to visit friends, i am just staring around, without getting fascinated by something, i am a kind of floating, dreaming with open eyes, but it is a dream that is blurry, unfocused, jet lagged, without having travelled by plane.

it seems to be the ideal mind state to prepare for our new piece “lost in space”, but i can’t even concentrate on that.  i feel liek fading away, like a brush in the air, no eye, no ear, no form , no shape, nothing.