united sorry

Yes, I am ready. First I wanted to go with my partner, but his love for his work was the reason he couldn’t leave his place. He couldn’t see the calling sailing ships which I saw  in the open sea. At last he saw them only totally transformed as ferries going from one side of the bay to the other, transporting people to their work.I felt so disappointed, and did not know what to do…

And now I am ready to go alone. Please  take me over the ocean, to the other side of the water, to the country of dreams and hopes, life and death, I am ready to leave everything behind, totally.

I left Stefan behind all ready, I leave all my shamanistic friends behind, my animals, everything, this is something I must do alone. I say goodbye to andre and thank him, to  all my friends ,my brother, my sister. And don’t’ worry I will return, in whatever form.

I am laying in a floating coffin, a sailing ship without captain, I am sleeping, waiting fro the things to come. And at a certain moment  I will wake up, i will navigate the ship listening to god of the winds, and yes I will sail to unknown territory where death is part of life. Yes,  Sebastian, I am coming, but don’t wait for me, I will meet you when the time is ready. Parents here I come, thanks for bringing me in the world, but now it was time to return.

I am sitting in the train, and I made a stupid mistake, I should go to st.nazaire to perform, but because I was in a hurry, I bought a ticket to angers, as a habit, and I put myself into the train to angers. After ten minutes I discovered that I mustn’t go to angers, but to st. nazaire, luckily it was the same direction , so I could stay in the train.

I felt like being in a dream. Questioning qhere i was, what i must do etc. As if I was taking the wrong plane, This is a real  fear for me, because I book my planes myself, as soon as possible, to reduce the prize and put them all in my email box, without any order. And most of the time, I can’t find the right reservation when I need to use it, and then I think I forgot to book the flight or threw it in the trash by accident. I forgot already once to book a flight, and I had to book it in the middle of the night, just for leaving the next morning.