united sorry

Does making art exist only when the other is absent, when we miss the other and we recreate him in our work. Can we only make work when we long for someone who is not there, or for something which is not there? Yes, I am banned out of paradise, and in my work I long to rediscover it,

I read once, actually more than 25 years ago- this book of Klaus Theleweit, the book of Kings. He writes that male artists must destroy their loved ones, to cultivate them into the unreachable muses. Poets write their loeve poems when their lover is not there.

Did this happen to me, these last years? I left the house, traveled, cultivating a big farewell. But I did’t want to make my lover absent. No, it was me, who I wanted to let disappear. Yes I wanted to destroy myself so badly.

To make performances, work, I musteliminate myself. Yes, kill this thing, called Robert. And let me dream about the time that Robert was still there, innocent, sometimes happy, sometimes troublesome, just living. Let me dream about what life is, instead of living it.

Yes, in my work, I try to walk away from myself, I try to let the sun go down from myself, i try to find my own darkness to let all the colors appear and disappear on my command.