united sorry

I can not hide anymore in the womb of my own imagination. I can not stay dreaming anymore in the the cave of death, It is time to be born again. My new body is ready to appear in the light of day and night.

So here am I, back in the world of the living, with a strong memory of all what happened before. Yes, the old robert is not there anymore, he died of a broken heart.

This time I am not totally human anymore, I start to be half human, half animal, I have the smell of the forest in my armpits, the smell of digested leaves in my breath. My chest is covered with a kind of fur, which I never touched before. It is hard and soft at the same time.

My once broken heart is completely healed, pumping the blood of a new found masculinity and femininity through my veins. In my loins I became hunter and prey in one. My head does not boil anymore, the thinking loops stopped and suddenly i discover there is a lot of time, when I wake up, time just to sit down and enjoy the sun on my face, when I have my breakfast.

Under the shower I start to sing melodies of happiness and sadness, I am ready, after the shower my nose remains wet, sniffing the environment if the places I visit, are okay to stay.

I found a home in myself, somewhere between my belly, belly button, loins. Most of the time I dream of being in the forest, between the trees, waiting for someone to meet or mate, without any expectation , even without being horny. This will happen, I am sure. And if it not will happen, I do not fear loneliness anymore. I am part of nature. I will blossom in spring and will die as one of the dead leaves in autumn, just being born, I already long for death to come.

death come to me and bring me to a place where i can rest, eternally, between all these moments of being alive.

here am i, just one or two seconds after my birth, still naked of course, but the miracle was that i came into the world with a cigarette in my mouth. And in my former life i was no heavy smoker. What will this life bring me?