how to surrender and to what.
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007
Why is there always a kind of searching going on in my mind, questioning what to do. I like to do nothing for a moment. Just nothing, breathing is okay, but not more than that. And perhaps one thought, which I can not avoid. What can I give, change or add to myself or this world around me?
I don’t know. I am not extremely happy at the moment. yes I went to bed very late last night, and I know that is always a good explanation for how shitty i feel now.
Yes i can’t do anything else than surrender to my shittiness.
I want this fucking world of social injustices and unavoidable violence and wars to stop. I ask myself why does all this negativity in the world resonate so much to my own inside.
How to clean my inside. where to start? Must I go to bed now? alone? or with the memory of the friends who died, or who I lost.
I discovered I can be sad without any reason, and then i manage to keep all the time the same reasons to explain why i am so unhappy.
so stop believing in these reasons, robert just alow yourself to be sad very sad…as the weather outside.