united sorry

I am back in Angers to see student work, a collective piece, and have also a kind of holiday feeling, because they perform in the evening, and now I am free in the day.

For too long I wanted to be embraced by the death. I wanted to get quiet, in a mood of total surrender to silence, stillness, a state of letting everything go.

But now it changed: someone said this weekend to me, “stay wild as you are” and I was astonished because I never considered myself as wild, on the contrary.

And now I think he is right.Yes I can have a very, very wild energy in me, or lets say I can ride a very wild energy. Because this energy is not me, it’s just goes through me, when I dance, or whenI am too much.

Yes, I want to live my life, also in this way.

I want to be funny on places where that is hardly accepted, I want to mock conventions even to destroy them, these patterns, boundaries, which restricted me for so long in my social behavior with others. This is me, roaring as a lion.

Instead of the wish to disappear, now I want to be more than present.

Yes, at this moment, I prefer to dive into the fullness of life, how poetic, how pathetic can I be. I want to live, love, make art without any boundaries anymore.

Yes, let’s be too much.