united sorry

dear s. you are so strong and vulnerable at the same time. I have the feeling i must take care of you, but at the same time i must give you your ultimate freedom. Because of you i took a lot of risks, but with you in mind i also entered new horizons. i hold your hand, and you look at me with curiosity and can i say with love, but you don’t want to lose yourself in me. you are afraid that i am too possessive. yes, i can be, i know, certainly in situations in which nothing is certain, so i must learn to relax, and trust that you always will come back to me also without me forcing you to meet. you are the one who is fully alive to me, and at the same time fully dead. to forget you i tried to meet you in the embraces of so many men and women, but at the end you are never there and i still miss you.

when you met me, you came alive, and now you want to explore this life on your own feet, you want to teach me something about freedom, yes we are free to live, love and create. i hear you laughing now about my big words. yes i love you tenderly. once i said i want to learn how it is to love unconditionally. and people thought that i was too romantic, to religious, to naive, but you make it possible to me, you are like my little child, and to trust you, i must become that little child again, that believes in the future, in life.

elias, ulrike and frank at our last rehearsal in pankow/berlin. To be in a rehearsal studio with a child is wonderfull, when he sleeps, we all are quiet, and talk silently when he is awake, we all get playful and do things that make us laugh and happy.