united sorry

i am in Berlin now, recovering from too much work, the premiere went well, very well, i was astonished how nice it can be to direct actors, th epublic reacted very warmly, everything looked okay, and then afterwards i fell in this black hole, and i am wondering, if i can function in this system of a stadstheater, in a system where you are one of the twnety, where everyone is tired, and where a premiere is a common thing and the next day you are already ready for another thing.

i fled to berlin, to have a day off, to rethink why i am in this business, and if this kind of work is something for me to continue. It is difficult to close doors, and to say, i can’t do this kind fo theatre productions anymore, also when I really like making this kind of work. but i finished working in the theatre in amsterdam, to make my own conditions, and suddenly i am in the middle of this theatremachine again, with people forgetting to do things, people not really willing to collaborate, people not thinking about how it is to make work etc. i wrote a long letter to give a voice to my frustration, we will see.

i am in the middle of this process, to make work in a context of living, loving and working and how this approach survive when i surrender to a system where they define this living, loving and working so differently.

i was this weekend in Bautzen, at a festival of puppet and object theatre and i discovered that i look like the directors of this puppet companies there. They are a little older, but also have a grey beard, and a belly. so i found my peers… in an outer corner of germany close to the border of poland and the tsjech republic. i felt good with them and the differents in esthetics and ethics made our meeting inspiring for everyone, i hope. my work brings me to very specific places.

i was thinking of the bearded artistic men in Brooklyn, new york, and how their life seems to be so different from the bearded theatre directors in the area of Bautzen. As a nomad I learn that everywhere there are nice people to meet, with and without beard.

the comment on the piece was that people couldn’t get grip on it, that it always escaped their interpretation in comical and sadness, in parody and honesty. It is the same reaction i get when i work with Frans.

elisabeth, as one of the artist twins, together with Tobias she reprsents the androgyn representation of the soul of the artist who seduces chris ( the technician, the representative of humankind)   to become a shaman.